Who are we looking for...and at what stage?!
What kind of a person are you...?!?
Our yearning for something, our passions, our visions, they are the seeds.
But what is next, what needs to happen for that idle seed to turn into something real?
As long as I can remember, I wanted to co-live with others in some sort of joined project, but I was not really conscious of it.
I guess it was always about "togetherness".
Sharing, creating and working together for me means being stronger together AND having more fun!
Then, I thought it was just being social, but now I know that it is simply human nature.
You know, the whole "heard animal" thing ...
But when I was young, the urge to travel and explore the world was much bigger than anything else, so I did that for some years.
I couldn’t help it though, everywhere I went I saw infinite possibilities and even though I never stayed long enough in one place, I could seemyself starting up something.
Its like my mind just goes into overdrive and I spent many hours making plans or brainstorming ideas of possible projects with old and new friends I have made along the way.
During that time I co-lived with people all the time, at one point even in a what I would call, UNintentional community, which funnily enough I only came to realise a little while back, when I told that story to a friend.
We were 11 people who got together to live like a "family by choice" and it was a simply amazing!
My life changed when I met the father of my children and we became a small conventional family unit, which immediately made me want to settle down.
Together we took on a massive restoration project in the North of Spain and although it looked like we had the same vision I came to realise that living and working with your partner means that you have to renounce some of your ideas and also the location itself demanded a change of course in order to make a living.
But at the end we had to admit that we had different priorities after all.
The relationship lasted a little over a decade and after I settled into my new situation, I realised that I still dreamt of the same thing- co-living and working with others and that I was now free to go after it!
Together with a friend we started to make plans again, discussing the rough outline of the project, in which country we would want to live etc.
She seemed like the perfect match, a true friend with the same ideas...but again life had its own way of unfolding.
Long story short- for now her responsibilities wont allow her to make the move.
Bummer!
Here I was, all ready to rock 'n' roll...but no one to do it with!
Over the years many of my friends have told me that they wish they also could just start a new life somewhere.
They would follow my adventures from afar, saying that they wish they could join me and I used to ask them:
-why don’t you just do it?
Sure, I knew it was easy for me because my parents moved around a lot when I was small, so I was used to it and when I decided to be on my marry way, they were every bit supportive.
So I definitely had an advantage there.
I tried to encourage some of my friends to take the plunge many times, but in vain.
The list of "reasons" why they cannot or wont make changes in their lives, although the say they want to, is a very long one and I bet you can imagine, so lets not get into it here.
Still, their attitude baffled me and to be honest, I thought they were weak and I was a little disappointed with them!
Little did I know, that they might be settlers at heart..and that I need to do the pioneering first!
In her wonderful book 'Creating a life together', Diana Leafe Christian writes:
"Two kinds of people are usually attracted to forming communities- pioneers and settlers.
Pioneers take risk and leap into the unknown.
They start the group, do the research, find the land. Settlers wait and see if the pioneers group can pull it off. They come in later when more is known about the project, and when there is something more visible to join.
Settlers need the pioneers to break trail for them,
Pioneers need settlers to join when its time to raise money and make the project happen. (..)
Forming community groups need both."
Only after reading that, did I finally understand that we don’t all have to be the same kind of person, that it would actually be a disaster if we all would want to be pioneers.
And most important of all, I finally understood that it is a good thing that some people are settlers and that when the time is right, they get to play their important part in creating the project!
The settlers are the ones who will come in with money, skills, manpower and all those things that the project needs to truly take off!
So right now, with over 20 years of experience and achievements under my belt, I feel ready to say:
Guys, it is time to do this community thing for real!
For all of us who want to make something happen, the people who are visionaries, know that it is our job to inspire and motivate others to make the vision come true!
So there it is folks, the first step in making Intentional Community become reality:
the pioneers act like water, activating the seed!
What about you?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this
But what is next, what needs to happen for that idle seed to turn into something real?
As long as I can remember, I wanted to co-live with others in some sort of joined project, but I was not really conscious of it.
I guess it was always about "togetherness".
Sharing, creating and working together for me means being stronger together AND having more fun!
Then, I thought it was just being social, but now I know that it is simply human nature.
You know, the whole "heard animal" thing ...
But when I was young, the urge to travel and explore the world was much bigger than anything else, so I did that for some years.
I couldn’t help it though, everywhere I went I saw infinite possibilities and even though I never stayed long enough in one place, I could seemyself starting up something.
Its like my mind just goes into overdrive and I spent many hours making plans or brainstorming ideas of possible projects with old and new friends I have made along the way.
During that time I co-lived with people all the time, at one point even in a what I would call, UNintentional community, which funnily enough I only came to realise a little while back, when I told that story to a friend.
We were 11 people who got together to live like a "family by choice" and it was a simply amazing!
My life changed when I met the father of my children and we became a small conventional family unit, which immediately made me want to settle down.
Together we took on a massive restoration project in the North of Spain and although it looked like we had the same vision I came to realise that living and working with your partner means that you have to renounce some of your ideas and also the location itself demanded a change of course in order to make a living.
But at the end we had to admit that we had different priorities after all.
The relationship lasted a little over a decade and after I settled into my new situation, I realised that I still dreamt of the same thing- co-living and working with others and that I was now free to go after it!
Together with a friend we started to make plans again, discussing the rough outline of the project, in which country we would want to live etc.
She seemed like the perfect match, a true friend with the same ideas...but again life had its own way of unfolding.
Long story short- for now her responsibilities wont allow her to make the move.
Bummer!
Here I was, all ready to rock 'n' roll...but no one to do it with!
Over the years many of my friends have told me that they wish they also could just start a new life somewhere.
They would follow my adventures from afar, saying that they wish they could join me and I used to ask them:
-why don’t you just do it?
Sure, I knew it was easy for me because my parents moved around a lot when I was small, so I was used to it and when I decided to be on my marry way, they were every bit supportive.
So I definitely had an advantage there.
I tried to encourage some of my friends to take the plunge many times, but in vain.
The list of "reasons" why they cannot or wont make changes in their lives, although the say they want to, is a very long one and I bet you can imagine, so lets not get into it here.
Still, their attitude baffled me and to be honest, I thought they were weak and I was a little disappointed with them!
Little did I know, that they might be settlers at heart..and that I need to do the pioneering first!
In her wonderful book 'Creating a life together', Diana Leafe Christian writes:
"Two kinds of people are usually attracted to forming communities- pioneers and settlers.
Pioneers take risk and leap into the unknown.
They start the group, do the research, find the land. Settlers wait and see if the pioneers group can pull it off. They come in later when more is known about the project, and when there is something more visible to join.
Settlers need the pioneers to break trail for them,
Pioneers need settlers to join when its time to raise money and make the project happen. (..)
Forming community groups need both."
Only after reading that, did I finally understand that we don’t all have to be the same kind of person, that it would actually be a disaster if we all would want to be pioneers.
And most important of all, I finally understood that it is a good thing that some people are settlers and that when the time is right, they get to play their important part in creating the project!
The settlers are the ones who will come in with money, skills, manpower and all those things that the project needs to truly take off!
So right now, with over 20 years of experience and achievements under my belt, I feel ready to say:
Guys, it is time to do this community thing for real!
For all of us who want to make something happen, the people who are visionaries, know that it is our job to inspire and motivate others to make the vision come true!
So there it is folks, the first step in making Intentional Community become reality:
the pioneers act like water, activating the seed!
What about you?
- what are YOU, a pioneer or a settler?
- Have you moved past the "seed stage" yet?
- Do you know of people, pioneers or settlers, who would like the idea of a community?
I would love to hear your thoughts on this